As the members of Sierra-Cascades Yearly Meeting of Friends wrestled with leaving their former yearly meeting over, among other issues, the question of LGBTQ+ inclusion, Erin Wilson felt a strong personal investment in the matter. “I realized that I was getting very defensive about the way that LGBTQ+ folks were being treated,” she recalls. “It took several months for me to figure out, ‘Oh! It’s because I’m not straight.'”
Erin currently identifies as bisexual. “I’m still figuring out what exactly that means,” she says, and drawing upon her Quaker faith has been vital in that process. Take, for example, the testimony of equality: “If we’re all equal,” she asks, “why does one aspect of our identity matter?”
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Transcript:
My work to recognize and heal from abuse as a community is entirely informed by Quaker discernment practices and by the theology of the God within. That the God inside of me needs to speak to the God inside of you, and that together we are making the space through corporate discernment for that to happen, through waiting worship for that to happen.
Being able to question things, which I think is important as part of Quaker faith anyway, was very helpful for me to figure out that…Huh? I’m not who I thought I was, and that’s okay.
Coming Out To Myself In Quaker Community.
My name is Erin Wilson. I use she/her pronouns. I live in Tualatin, Oregon, and I am a direct member of Sierra-Cascades Yearly Meeting of Friends.
The history of Sierra-Cascades is challenging for me to name because I was not present for all of the formational aspects prior to becoming its own yearly meeting. There was a lot of tension within Northwest Yearly Meeting, which is the year the meeting that Sierra-Cascades split off of. I think there was a lot more going on, but the issue that they pinpointed it on was LGBTQ+ inclusion.
It was through all of that that I came out to myself because I grew up in evangelical culture where a woman is assumed straight and will end up married to a man. Through all of the things going on with the split and the church that I was a part of at the time, and all of the conversations happening, I realized that I was getting very defensive about the way that LGBTQ+ folks were being treated. And so it took several months for me to figure out, Oh, it’s because I’m not straight!
It also became clear that when I really deconstructed my concept of sexuality and who I could or couldn’t marry, there was no reason that I saw for me not to marry a woman other than that I just hadn’t been in a relationship with a woman, and I had not been in a relationship with a man, so the possibilities were open. And so I’ve chosen the label bisexual, and I’m still figuring out what exactly that means.
Being able to use Quaker values to help me process that, it was important to me. I mean, I think of the testimony of equality, and that was something that was important to me with the whole experience of the conversation happening in Northwest Yearly Meeting that led to the split and then Sierra-Cascades formation, just knowing that if we’re all equal, why does one aspect of our identity matter.
But as far as the the process with Sierra-Cascades, I think it was helpful for me to arrive at a place where I was affirming of others in their sexual orientations and gender identities to be able to say, Oh, well, what if mine is not what I have assumed my whole life? And being able to question things which I think is important as part of Quaker faith anyway, was very helpful for me to figure out that…Huh? I’m not who I thought I was, and that’s okay.
Discussion Question:
- What is your experience coming out to in a Quaker community?
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