How I Told My Quaker Meeting I’m Transgender

When Ted decided to make the transition to male, he knew he wanted to tell his meeting, but didn’t want a flood of questions. That’s when the meeting stepped up.

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Jon Watts

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11 thoughts on “How I Told My Quaker Meeting I’m Transgender

  1. I don’t think of Ted as a person who is transgender. I think of him as a brave person who is in the process of accepting and wanting us to understand that physically and emotionally there is a reality of dealing with the fact that he “assumes” he has to explain to his community…

    I know of few people I admire more than Ted. When Jesus said “Love one another” he must have

    assumed that some of us need more love and support. I hope his Meeting will encourage him to

    seek the best psychiatrist available to support and heal any wounds all of us who want to achieve

    peace of mind. Ted, you are a good soul. I wish you all the best. God Bless you. Joan Kindler kindlerantant@aol,com

  2. I watched an acquaintance (now a friend) transition to female. If I was unsure to begin with I was convinced by the end. She is so much happier as a female – she moves more freely, laughs more, talks more. I treasure her as a friend. She had the support of her wife (still married), friends and work colleagues, all of which were important to her.

    I am thankful that you had the support of your meeting. Best wishes to you all,

  3. I am a member of Richmond Friends Meeting and warmly recall Ted’s transition process. Ted grew up in Richmond Meeting and we felt honored that he wanted to share his journey with us. We are fortunate to have Ted as active contributing member of our meeting .

    Clarisse Harton

  4. I am am a family member of Ted’s family. In truth, I am Ted’s family in a way that is the definition of friend.
    We have never met in person. I have met his sweet sister, and to know her is to love her.

    Ted was and is Ted, a kind, educated, generous, informative, and professional
    person who I instantly admired and respected just reading his posts.

    We became facebook friends and quite frankly, not only had I never
    had the opportunity to know a person who is transgender, I had no idea that Ted is transgender. I realized this in a comment he made awhile back after the women’s march.

    I was and am so interested in what that means, but was concerned that asking questions would be offensive.
    Ted and his wife Laura’s relationship
    with each other is such a beacon of light and hope. I just loved them both
    from the instrinsic joy that radiated from them in their wedding pictures.

    I knew absolutely nothing about the Quakers, or about Ted’s journey until this post. Thank you Ted, and thank you, friends meeting, for sharing this with me. I look forward to learning more in the future. “The friends” share peace with each other as Ted always shares with everyone. I feel most blessed to have had this opportunity to listen.

    ♡ Lisa

  5. A powerful and emotional piece, thanks for telling this part of Ted’s story!
    I wish you had time to tell about the role BYM Young Friends played in supporting Ted’s transition, it was very important!
    Ted and I were FAPs (Friendly Adult Presence) together on many YF weekends, and this was a journey we all took with Ted.
    He was blessed to have such a supportive monthly and yearly meeting community.
    Richmond Friends and BYM demonstrated what it means to honor that of Godde in every person, and to let your life speak. Ted’s life speaks volumes about the inner Light.
    And his mother Linda Heacock, who died in 2008, would be (and certainly IS) very proud of him!

  6. That person is a Friend, and is embued with “That of God”, and is entitled to the respect and love that all sentient beings need. The appearance is what we “see” not the emotional and intellectual reality.
    In this day and age, it is extremely brave to “come out”. Hold this Friend in the “Light” and before “God”. In peace, Michael

  7. I was born female in the 1950’s. I had a congenital condition called spastic diplegia (of both legs). I was uncomfortable with my deformities which were left untreated long enough to deform my spine. I have neverbeen comfortable with all the ‘female’ clothing, hairstyles, makeup, posturing, conversations, etc. Oh, how I wished I was male ! The women’s rights movement and feminist movements allowed me, as a young adult, the opportunity to be more of myself in public. I had the opportunity to manage my own money, work, buy cars and a house that were not usually allowed women in previous generations. I support anyone who recognizes that they are not comfortable with thier gender and has the courage to change.

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