Twenty years ago, Jennifer Kavanagh went on a backpacking trip, spending time in developing countries around the world—and when she got back to London, she says, “I realized I simply didn’t need most of the stuff that I had. I thought, I’ve done without them for a year… why would I need them?” So she gave away or sold the bulk of her possessions, sold her flat, moved into a smaller place, and began to enjoy the freedom of a simpler lifestyle.
“I didn’t give up stuff because I thought I should,” Jennifer continues. “I gave up stuff because I couldn’t stand having it.” Streamlining her material conditions allowed Jennifer to simplify her emotional and spiritual life, bringing clarity to her relationships with God and with other Friends in her meeting.
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Transcript:
My favorite definition of simplicity, and in any tradition, is “removing the clutter between oneself and the divine.” Simplicity is the outward and visible sign of an inward and spiritual grace.
I’m Jennifer Kavanagh. She/her. I’m from London, and I attend Westminster meeting. Quakers came out of a situation in England just after the Civil War, when there was a lot of discontent in Christianity about the way things become complicated — lots of rituals and dogma and structures. Quakers wanted to simplify that. They wanted to return to what they felt was the way of early Christians. So getting rid of a lot of those things in external ways, getting rid of any iconography and returning to very plain, simple places, so as not to be distracted. Not having a creed, not having a dogma, simplifying the whole thing so that we could concentrate on the one thing that mattered: The relationship between the self and the divine. And in a Quaker meeting, the self, the divine and the others in the room. I like to think of it as a triangle.
Waiting for guidance, it’s not a passive thing. It’s waiting for guidance to what we should do in the world and then taking that triangle out into the world, so that we can receive guidance both direct and also through other people. So 20 years ago, I came back from a journey around the world backpacking, spending a lot of time in developing countries. And when I got back I realized I simply didn’t need most of the stuff that I had. I thought, “Well, I’ve done without them for a year. Why wouldn’t I need them?” And so I gave most myself to my kids or sold it. I sold my flat, moved somewhere else so much smaller. And the freedom, you know, if you ask what the benefits of simplicity are — freedom and joy and noticing what, again, what matters, noticing the small things.
You know, the spareness is actually a joy. It’s like a flower in the desert, you know? You really notice it. I think you start by examining what is it that gives you discomfort. It’s that inner niggle. It’s not about ‘shoulds’ or ‘nots’, because I didn’t give up stuff because I thought I should. I gave up stuff because I couldn’t stand having it. It can be noise, it can be information overload. But I think the most difficult aspect is what I call inner clutter, which is emotional stuff, the need to be in control. Fear.
I would suggest to people — why do you want to live a simple life, what do you mean by it — and start there. So it may be that they want to live a more compassionate life because simplicity isn’t just removing the clutter between oneself and God, but between us and everything that represents God in the world. So living a more compassionate life, people may feel uneasy about eating meat or they may feel uneasy about having so much more wealth than somebody else or or climate change indeed. Interestingly, when I’ve been talking to people who’ve been trying to simplify their lives, they say that it’s a spiritual practice. That you can just take one couple to one drawer and look at the things in it. Do I need it? Is it useful? Is it beautiful? Does it have an emotional attachment? If those things matter to you, don’t get rid of it. Don’t do it because you think you have to do it because it actually will free you.
With busyness, the great thing for me is to pause. However busy our lives are, and some people’s lives have to be busy or to earn a living, they’re looking after their children or their aged parents, or whatever. But everybody can pause during the day. There’s a wonderful expression: Between actions, pause and remember who you are. When I first heard it I thought, “Well, that rather presupposes I know who I am.” And then I realized ‘remember’ is the opposite of dismember. So it’s about collecting yourself and gathering yourself. You can do it when you’re waiting at the traffic lights. You can do it when you’re going upstairs. Everybody can pause. And it makes a great difference. You’re collecting yourself. You’re putting yourself in the place that matters.
William Penn, founder of this wonderful state of Pennsylvania, when he was becoming a Quaker, approached George Fox — who was the founder of Quakers, or one of them. William Penn was an aristocrat and he wore a sword and he said to George Fox, “Is it okay if I wear my sword?” And George Fox didn’t say, “Take as of this moment, we’re a pacifist organization.” He said, “Wear it as long as you can.” It may be apocryphal. I’ve heard that it perhaps didn’t happen, but it is rather wonderful. And for me, that is the most wonderful model of how to live our lives. We do it as long as we can. We use airplanes, we drive huge distances, we eat meat, whatever it is, for as long as we can. And when that discomfort becomes too great, we stop. And the important thing about stopping, the important thing about letting go of things is to return to our authentic selves, be the person we’re meant to be, so that what we’re called to do in the world is clearer because we’ve got rid of some of the stuff.
The inner and the outer are related, and the more we clear away the outer, the clearer the inner becomes. And the clearer at the inner is, the more need there is to clear the outer. So simplicity isn’t about mediocrity, and it’s not about a shirt. It’s not being miserable. It’s actually a huge freedom.
Discussion Question:
- Have you experienced simplicity as “the outward and visible sign of an inward and spiritual grace,” as Jennifer describes it, in your life? Have you wished for such an experience? What might you do to approach that state?
The views expressed in this video are of the speakers and do not necessarily reflect the views of Friends Journal or its collaborators.
This is excellent. Thank you!
What a beautiful and powerful description of simplicity–it really resonated with me, how it is both an interior and exterior process, deepening our experience of the divine.