Niyonu Spann, founder of Beyond Diversity 101, talks about her idea of heaven and how she invites everyone (including white men) to fully bring it.
Resources:
- Subscribe to QuakerSpeak so you never miss a video
- Music in this episode: “Live up to the Light That Thou Hast”. Listen to the full song.
- Find out about Niyonu Spann’s Diversity workshop in this essay on the FGC website
- “We can, in fact, abolish systematic discrimination within and without.” Find out more about “Beyond Diversity 101”
- Resources for Helping Your Meeting Challenge Racism
- Read this Friends Journal article: “Moving Toward Wholeness: Addressing Race amongs Friends”
- Explore the Quaker way to see if it could be right for you
- Worship with Friends! Find Quakers near you on QuakerFinder and Friends Journal’s meeting listings
- Read Friends Journal to see how other Friends describe the substance of Quaker spirituality
- Quaker Voluntary Service has opportunities for young women and men interested in social and personal transformation through service work and living in Quaker community.
Transcript:
My idea of heaven is folks being able to be “full-up”, be fully who they are and bring their gifts or be choice-ful about that. That really is my idea of heaven.
Advice for White Men
Live up to the truth and remember my child
You are never alone
No, never
What I have yearned for forever is to have co-whatevers. Co-leaders, co-facilitators, co-musicians who can bring it—where I can bring it fully and that doesn’t mean that they then pull back, because “you’re too strong with yours” or whatever. So that’s my idea of heaven, so I’ll start with that.
But I think it’s a time in our society—at least here in the U.S., which is where I’ve been most of my life—when white men in particular have a very tricky path to healing, because I think so many of the circles that we would define as kind of healing spaces or spiritual places or activist circles jump on white men quickly as soon as they act in any way fully—full up.
So there’s so much—folks are so ready to catch a white man doing the wrong thing (the “wrong thing”) speaking too much, speaking too boldly, being too joyous about who he is, you know, any of that stuff.
And I experienced this a lot at Pendle Hill. I felt that it was very much a culture that—because it was primarily white, middle class, middle aged women—I was very aware that the culture was not very conducive to white men acting in any way except for very humble, toned down. Sort of a toned down way of being.
And so when we would occasionally get a white man that didn’t act that way, I saw him catching hell. But I was very aware of that and so, you know, the world in general has been so colonized and terrorized by white men that its such a hard thing to balance out, but where I put my energy in the moment is trying to make the space for “Bring it. Bring it. Bring yourself more fully.” Because I don’t think I can heal until you… you know. I can’t see like, “OK, put yourself on pause while I…” You know, I don’t think that’s leading towards us all being whole.
So that’s my thing. I completely get the ones that say, “Let the white men just sit in the corner and be quiet while we do our thing.” I understand where that comes from. But that’s not what I want to be up to. Probably because of my idea of heaven.
Oh live up to the Light that thou hast
And more will be granted thee
Be granted thee
Oh live up to the Light thou hast
Thank you Niyonu! You advice is heard and accepted. And your compassion for and understanding of the challenges for white men so very much appreciated. In the Light, John
Woot wooooot from one of the white middle class women that Niyonu refers to. This is one of the best things I’ve heard/seen ever. Yes, I too feel I need to bring it, and to hold the space for others to bring it. Fully. I’m not as bold as Niyonu, but I am feeling this message! The kingdom of god/spirit is that kind of place. Thank you.
We need to get to the time when a person can just be a person, and not a representative of the category of White Male, carrying all the baggage of centuries of people he has no connection to. To view people by race and gender is racist and sexist. Glad to hear a voice that’s working towards that time.
Sweet, loving, insightful Truth. Blessings Niyonu deeply told.
Easy to translate this to a lot of parts of my life. As a manager, I can’t be the best CEO that I can be until everyone on our staff feels comfortable and safe to bring their true selves fully to the workplace and to the process of creating the best community/organization that we can be — as a wife and mother, as a friend and as a Friend…
Niyonu has a way of observing the culture of a place and seeing how it includes or alienates people who find themselves in it. She also has a way of listening deeply and then speaking the truth which she has heard. Thanks, Niyonu, for naming what so often goes unnamed! It just struck me that this interview is provocative enough that it would be worthy of another video — perhaps with a panel of respondents, including Niyonu, discussing together what she has raised!
I guess I just don’t understand Spann’s juxtaposition between acting “humble” and acting “full up”/”bring it.” Is she saying that white men can’t be themselves, full up, AND listen with humility when a woman in their lives talks about gender dynamics? That women, by expressing themselves and airing their own hurts, are preventing men from being their whole selves? If so, I very much disagree and think this is a toxic way to think about both gender and social justice work. Maybe I’m misinterpreting her though?
As a 76 year old woman who has witnessed the beginnings of a liberation of women for the past 50 some years, I applaud Niyonu’s take on what it has done to white men. As we women have become stronger and more whole, the white men have frequently been left behind. Her approach has the potential to begin freeing them as well.