Ross Hennesy explains how Quaker worship helps him to manage some of life’s most difficult emotions.
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Discussion Questions:
- How do you deal with it when difficult emotions arise in Meeting for Worship?
- Ross says, “Meeting for Worship really only makes sense in a context where someone has some discipline throughout the week where… all that stuff is able to come up and just be held in the light in such a way that it loses its authority. ” Do you agree? What is your discipline?
Transcript:
So the reason that I’m a Quaker is I believe that there is a possibility of a life beyond fear and guilt. I believe that there is a potential in which we foster our own internal capacity for wisdom and compassion in this way that shifts our center, who’s in the driver’s’ seat of our lives – what’s coming up and how it’s processed – in this way that starts to manifest in really creative and courageous lives.
A Life Beyond Fear and Guilt
There was a time in my life when I really wanted to strike fear from my heart and I realized that what I was doing was trying to ignore and sublimate these really powerful emotions and feelings and it bubbles up, it bubbles up, and I would try to force it down. Sort of like a beach ball in the swimming pool, it pops up here, it pops up there.
“Perfect Love Casts Out Fear”
As I realized through worship that I could invite my fear and I could invite my guilt into the conversation without it controlling me – without it determining how I behave and how I act – it started to diminish. And as those passions diminish, what I think you start to find is this capacity for compassion or empathy or co-suffering that’s latent down there.
And so in Meeting for Worship, as you have this ember, you start to blow on it and it becomes brighter and brighter. I think this is why John says that perfect love casts out fear. It’s not that the opposite of love is hate, right? It’s that the opposite of love is fear.
The Discipline of Worship
Meeting for Worship really only makes sense in a context where someone has some discipline throughout the week where they are allowing those fears and those shoulds and those needs and those pangs of guilt and the criticisms of their internal parents or internal boss or whatnot, and all that stuff is able to come up and just be held in the light in such a way that it loses its authority.
The views expressed in this video are of the speakers and do not necessarily reflect the views of Friends Journal or its collaborators.
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Oh dear, yet another Quaker wimp who forgot to shave.
Than you for this touching video. I have one small correction: the scripture quoted is 1 John 4:18 not John 4:18 as written on the screen.
As a Quaker who has struggled with fear and guilt all my life, I found this presentation to be very hopeful. Thank you for sharing it with us.
It’s so important for each of us to understand the relationship between love and fear. This thoughtful video reminds us not to quell our fears but hold them in the light, examine them and move on. A crucial message!
Thank you Ross.
I have a slightly different perspective that like you, leads to compassion, courage and humility.
Over the years l have learned to embrace fear as a friend rather than a guide. It invites me to pause and prepare myself as I enter into the inevitable unfamiliar territory of growth. Being a Quaker reminds us that the Light precedes all fear so we can walk through it rather than be blocked it.
I have also learned to make Guilt my companion because it teaches me humility.
First, I want to distinguish the difference between guilt and shame. For me, guilt is about what I do others and shame, is what others do to us.
If I act in a way that diminishes the dignity of a fellow l believe it is appropriate to feel guilt because it reminds that l have deminished myself. In the context of the Light it invites me into humility and reconciliation with my peers. I no longer accept the belief that there are “bad” and “good” feelings – feelings are simply feelings and none are excluded from the Light.
Thanks again Ross for your reflection.
There is an excellent brief book that expands on these important thoughts, Fear of the Other: No Fear in Love, by William Willimon, 2016. It includes an amazing chapter (5) : Jesus, The Other, discussing the parable of the Good Samaritan.