“I think the reason I never got involved with Quakers before I met my husband was I didn’t think of quiet meeting for worship as my style,” Sabrina McCarthy admits. “I’m not sure it’s my style even now, but I love everything else about Quakerism… I love the simplicity of the lifestyle, the sharing, the ability of everybody to be a minister in the meeting. It has given me an outlet for my own spiritual development by allowing me to participate in ministry.”
Although she hasn’t formally joined a meeting, Sabrina has partnered with other women in the Friends community to create a BIPOC women’s group that meets online. “What we do together is some worship sharing, some healing movement, some attention to cultural matters like music or art,” she explains. “In our normal interactions, even in Quaker meetings, there are little stings, little taps, little microaggressions some people call them—and to be able to relax and know you’re in a space where you’re understood is so important and it allows you to expand spiritually.”
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Transcript:
I must admit, I think the reason I never got involved with Quakers before I met my husband was I didn’t think of quiet meeting for worship as my style. I’m not sure it’s my style even now but I love everything else about Quakerism – I love the way that people have respect for the dignity of every person. I love the simplicity of the lifestyle, the sharing, the ability of everybody to be a minister in the meeting. It has given me an outlet for my own spiritual development by allowing me to participate in ministry.
Making My Own Quaker-Adjacent Community
I’m Sabrina McCarthy. I live in Bethesda, MD, and attend Friends Meeting of Washington in Baltimore Yearly Meeting.
When my husband and I decided to get married we realized, all of a sudden, that I wouldn’t be happy with just having a Quaker wedding and he wouldn’t be happy with having a Catholic wedding, if we were both to feel fully married. So I realized that there isn’t any reason for me personally to become a Quaker, because I don’t want to separate myself from my other religious traditions. So for me being Quaker-adjacent is fine. Quakers are very friendly and willing to let people attend for as long as they like and that suits me well.
Starting a BIPOC Women’s Group
We started this group through Friends General Conference and it came out of a groundswell among Asian American, African American, American Indian, Latin American women who wanted a space just for themselves where they could feel safe and feel that their perspectives were understood. Where we could explore and where we could heal together. We’ve been doing it now since January of 2022 and we have two groups each month to try and catch both sides of the globe – one at 3pm EST and one at 8pm EST. What we do together is some worship sharing, some healing movement, some attention to cultural matters like music or art. We have one session where we honored bell hooks because she had gone on to be an ancestor, and it is a very nourishing space for many people. I hope it continues and it grows.
The Importance of a Receptive Space for BIPOC Women
The reason why a space like this is important (a space for women of color, or what we call sometimes the global majority of women) is that in our normal interactions, even in Quaker meetings, there are little stings, little taps, little microaggressions some people call them, and to be able to relax and know you’re in a space where you’re understood is so important and it allows you to expand spiritually. You don’t have to protect yourself so much. Also, it’s a space where your entire self is appreciated and you can bring your entire self, you have to show just a part of yourself, and it’s a space where it’s safe to explore topics, to broaden yourself. For myself as an African American woman, my whole life I’ve been shedding identities and shedding ideas that really obscure who I am and that’s easiest to do in a space with other people like me who are receptive to that practice.
Discussion Question:
- Are there support systems for BIPOC women and/or people in your Quaker communities?
The views expressed in this video are of the speakers and do not necessarily reflect the views of Friends Journal or its collaborators.
I’m happy for you. You found a way to feel safe, to be yourselves, and practice Quaker values.